Cheerleader
by Feyren
Summary: Akaya needs more credits to graduate, so he tries out for cheerleading. No, seriously.


This is officially the weirdest thing I've ever written. Like, ever.

So basically, I was staying after school the other day and I saw the cheerleaders practicing. And they did this cheer, and I'm like, "That's _so _stereotypical." But the rhythm's really catchy, and I couldn't get it out of my head. You can find it if you search it up: "Bring It On: I'm Sexy, I'm Cute." It's really _really _ditzy, but it's still catchy.

And no, Akaya doesn't wear a skirt in this story. Hehe.

* * *

The RikkaiDai regulars were very, very suspicious.

For one, Akaya looked overly pensive about something, which was never a good sign. Niou, in addition, looked positively mirthful, and for everyone else, that either meant an explosion, or a huge upcoming prank.

Needless to say, that wasn't a good sign either.

Yukimura didn't seem willing to do anything about it (he seemed rather amused, himself), so Jackal was the first to speak.

Naïve, naïve Jackal.

"Um, Akaya?" he began. The junior turned to look at him, still in a pensive mood. "What are you thinking about?"

Akaya frowned as the other regulars crowded around him. Niou snickered. "Tell him, kid."

"Don't _call _me that," Akaya complained. "I—I have tryouts later today."

"Tryouts?" Marui echoed, looking bemused. "You're on the tennis team. What else could you possibly want to try out for?"

"I know that," Akaya scowled. "I need more credits to graduate and stuff. I mean, you guys do volunteer stuff, and most of you are in at least one other club, you know? I'm not."

"Join something miscellaneous," Yanagi suggested. "It'll require minimal time and energy, which I'm certain is to your preference."

"What he said," Marui agreed, nodding. "Something like . . . the computer club! All you have to do is sit there and pretend to be interested for half an hour."

"Or you could join something fulfilling, like the golf club," Yagyuu offered. "It's a very entertaining sport."

Akaya shook his head. "I already decided on something, hence the whole tryouts thing."

Niou chuckled warmly, and the regulars gave him a wary glance. "What?" Marui demanded.

"He's trying out for cheerleading," Niou blurted.

There was a collective silence, then Yukimura burst into a fit of giggles. "I happen to think it's a fine idea," he said, smiling. "The cheerleading team needs more male members."

"I—you—that's—!" Sanada sputtered, and promptly shut up before he could make any more of a fool of himself.

"I know," Akaya moaned. "I'll never make the team. All the cheerleaders are pretty and stuff, and they dress better than me."

Everybody was quiet for a long moment, then Marui said, "Do you even hear yourself right now? You sound like a girl."

"I do not!" Akaya huffed. "Watch my tryouts. It's not a girl sport, I swear! It's all challenging and strenuous and manly and stuff."

"Right," Jackal said, dubiously. "We'll be there, Akaya. Good luck."

Again, naïve, naïve Jackal.

* * *

The girls' cheerleading tryouts made for a fairly entertaining pastime. Marui, Jackal, and Yagyuu looked away every time a girl fell over, twisted her ankle, broke her leg, or got carried off in an ambulance. Niou, however, laughed candidly. Yukimura was less overt about his amusement, though his expression gave it all away.

Sanada and Yanagi sat off to the side, preparing themselves for Akaya's tryouts. It was a frightening thought, indeed.

Fifteen minutes and thirty broken legs later, Akaya walked to the football field, fidgeting nervously. He placed his tennis racquet carefully on the bench (why had he brought it, anyway?) and squared his shoulders.

"Go Akaya!" Niou cheered, sounding absolutely sadistic. "Good luck!" The others repeated this, though with much less conviction. Marui fiddled with his drink, looking worried—and amused.

"I know, I know," Akaya muttered. "Okay, I have the cheer memorized. Okay, okay."

He took a deep breath, and began, pumping up one fist and doing a battement lent. _"I'm awesome, I'm cute, I'm popular to boot! I'm bitching, great hair, the girls all love to stare!" _

Marui spat out his drink and stared in horror. Niou doubled over, laughing.

Akaya performed a chassé, and ended with a fouetté jeté. "_I'm wanted, I'm hot, I'm everything you're not! I'm pretty, I'm cool, I dominate this school!"_

Niou had gotten out a video camera now. The regulars were sufficiently horrified, though Yukimura looked content. "Wonderful jeté, Akaya!" he called. "But amplify your voice a bit more!"

A glissade, a pirouette.

A PIROUETTE.

"_We sizzle, we scorch, but now we pass the torch! The ballots are in, and someone's got to win. We're perky, we're fun, and now we're number one!"_

Jump, toe touch, land, back-hand spring.

Sanada gaped. "This is not proper RikkaiDai behavior!" he barked, but Yukimura shushed him and continued watching, smiling enthusiastically.

Akaya pulled off an arabesque twist before shouting perkily, "_We cheer and we lead! We act like we're on speed! Don't hate us 'cause we're beautiful, well we don't like you either! We're cheerleaders! We! Are! Cheerleaders!"_

The school burst into a furious applause, and moments later, gave him a standing ovation.

Akaya seemed delighted. Niou and Yukimura looked proud.

And everybody else was properly mortified.

* * *

If you need definitions for the ballet terms, go on Wikipedia. It's all there, promise. The cheerleading terms are pretty well-known, I think, but basically, a toe-touch is where you jump up, do a horizontal split, and touch your toes. Back hand spring is just sort of a backflip. I don't really know how to describe an arabesque twist, though.

(I have cheerleading tryouts in May, and just so you know, I can't do _any _of the cheerleading moves I mentioned. I'm so screwed.)


End file.
